Reviews
Interview
Spleen Zine, Feb 1998.
Gidday! Sorry this took so long - I hope it's in time for the splendid Spleen. I
don't know how to do all that "attachment" shit, so I've typed it out again. If
you can't use it then I'll get Stu to show me how. Here goes:-
Hey there,
HI!
A few questions for the next Spleen. Can you send me some replies ASAP?
Obviously not!
Do you stay up late, or are you afraid of the reaper?
I usually only stay up late when I'm trying to finish a song, but I don't fear the
reaper. I give the reaper wedgies and he runs away crying. I reckon I'll reincarnate
as one of those worms that was on "Seven Years in Tibet", so I should be O.K.
Are you playing all the instruments on your backing tapes yourself?
Yes, but not all at once. Ask Rob how it's done.
How many different instruments can you play? (Do you play?)
1-ish (7)
When can we expect to see Bing Turkby Rubber Underwear (tm) in department stores?
As soon as I can prise it off my manly butt.
What other bands have you played in?
The ultimate ignorant rock band Simnock, the indecently scary Foisemaster, the incandescently
jangly Julia Dreams, and I do "sell-out" gigs with an Irish band too.
Who is Sammy Boha?
A Namibian architrave salesman I met whilst snowboarding in the Xinjiang province
of China. We had both eaten too much rancid yak butter, and ended up painting the
town a kind of off-yellow colour.
Luckily, they quite liked it! Make sure you use your best fake African accent when
saying his name, or he'll find you and nut you one.
Favourite caffeine charged/guarana doof drink?
Those who are blinded by the shining hussy caffeine forget the simple pleasures
of the pert sugar cane. Those who would honour their ancestors drink Speights Old
Dark at slightly above body temperature and suck on Spaceman Candy Sticks" - Amenhotep
~ a very long time ago.
What sort of gear do you use live?
1) Shabby gear! It's the best sort. You'll find it at good garage sales.
2) A cassette deck, a sawn-up geetar, a rock'n'play (for drums sometimes and distortion
all the time), a sax, a trombone, and an unconvincing belief that I might be able
to pull it off.
What are your plans for world domination?
1) Pass it to Rusty on the wing. It sometimes worked in 4th Form hockey.
2) Ban all weapons and smile a lot. Put world leaders in a box at the bottom of
the ocean until they've learned to say "please" and "thank you" nicely, and give
everyone else sparklers.
Can you recommend a good book?
Yes.
Does technology scare you?
No I have the sword of Xanthros. You should see the state of the pute-pute that
I sent this e-mail on!
Are you incredibly good-looking?
Well, yes. Have we met?
Do you welcome cash donations?
Yes. Turkbytone (my record company) handles most of the begging and grovelling for
me. P.O. Box 1573, Palmerston North.
Many have said that you are overweeningly arrogant and have no more talent than
a bag of tomatos. Do you like tomatos?
Yes.