Reviews
The unbearable lightness of Bing
Don Kavanagh, Evening Standard, 29 Mar 2000.
Freedom for Turakina is being demanded by a Palmerston North record company mogul
who is tired of his home town's continued oppression at the hands of Wanganui.
Bing Turkby, managing director of Turkbytone Records, and prime mover behind the
self-proclaimed multiplatinum selling act The Bing Turkby Ensemble, laid out his
demands during a recent low-profile trip to planet reality.
"My music brings a message of liberation for Turakina," he declared. "My homeland
has been under the yoke, heel and thumb of Wanganui for too long."
However, he said he would be willing to settle for a devolved, self-governing assembly,
similar to the Scottish Parliament.
"The time has come for Turakina to take her place among the nations of the earth.
And I want the contract for writing the national anthem."
His path to rock 'n' roll superstardom began in a Turakina heavy metal band called
Knock On Steel.
"We still get together once a year to confuse people who thought we broke up years
ago."
The band did split up, and Turkby began to record his own music, which can best
be described as tales of ordinary madness. "It all started by just mucking around
in my bedroom playing with music."
"It was all a big joke, until a friend at Radio Massey got hold of some of it and
began to play it on the air"
"Now the joke's on them."
The joke got bigger when Turkby hit the live circuit, with the assistance of saxophonist
Tyrone T Blowhard and drummer Nemo Spork - "I don't think they'd thank me for using
their real names."
Playing a homemade guitar that bears more resemblance to, well, a chunk of plywood
with a neck, he may play at a venue near you soon, if you're not careful.
He said he wanted to tour the country with his Ensemble, bringing casual insanity
to the cities.
"Napier, Welington Auckland, I'd like to play them all. In fact I'd love to do a
South Island tour, and call it Bing Goes Down... South."
He said he attracted a dedicated following wherever he went.
"Well, Nemo (the drummer) always comes with me, so he must be pretty dedicated."
But behind the madness and surrealism of the Ensemble's work lies a keen talent.
The Bing Turkby Ensemble's Summer Party Album covers just about every musical style
- from bluegrass through ska to opera - and while the lyrics might verge on the
lunatic (sample title - Rancid Yak Butter in My Brains) the music is infectiously
catchy.
He released three self-financed albums in 1998, including the masterful Have You
Seen Me Vanquishing People Lately? It's his best so far.
"I'm surprised that one hasn't sold a million copies yet," a clearly puzzled Turkby
says.
"But, then, I only had 25 copies pressed."
On his CDs, he plays all the instruments himself, from bass to saxophone.
He said he had plans to record a series of duets and collaborations with other artists,
if he felt he could lower himself to their level.
"I quite fancy doing a duet with James Hetfield out of Metallica, maybe some Russian
folk music. I think poor James needs the exposure."
His musical ability is not to be scoffed at, although he is himself bemused at the
amount of gigs he gets.
"I once played a gig at The Olde Bailey, and the owner asked me back - I was amazed,
frankly."
But no matter where he goes, his heart belongs to Turakina, a town he eulogises
in many songs, not least his seminal Turakina School, in which he claims to have
been classmates with everyone from Elvis to Bill Clinton.
His plans for world domination, however, are modest.
"I'd be satisfied with a branch of Turkbytone Records in every country on earth.
I'm not greedy."
You can hear Bing Turkby playing live on Radio Massey 99.4FM at 9pm on Thursday,
April 13, as part of the station's Kiwi music week.